Wives, Submit to Your Husbands? Rethinking Ephesians 5:22–24

Few verses have been as hotly debated as Paul’s words in Ephesians 5:22-24:

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

For some, these verses have been wielded like a club to enforce domination. For others, they have been softened into irrelevance. But what did Paul actually mean?

These verses only make sense if we read them in the context of verse 21: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Submission Flows From Mutuality

The Greek text does not even repeat the verb “submit” in verse 22. Literally, it reads: “Wives, to your own husbands as to the Lord.” The verb is carried over from verse 21.

That means the passage begins not with wives bowing to husbands, but with a mutual call to submission for all believers. Paul then applies this Christ-shaped submission in the marriage relationship.

Headship as Source and Savior

When Paul calls the husband “head” of the wife, kephalē (head) is best understood as source/origin rather than “boss” or “commander.”

• Just as Christ is the source and savior of the church, the husband is reminded of his role as one who gives, nurtures, and sacrifices.

• This is not a license for tyranny; it is a call to responsibility.

The “head” does not mean “master,” it means “one who lays down his life so that the other flourishes.”

Christlike Submission, Not Cultural Domination

The command to wives is not blind obedience. It is relational alignment, modeled after the church’s relationship to Christ.

At the same time, husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (v. 25). This flips cultural norms on their head. In a world where men held unchecked power, Paul calls them to sacrificial, cruciform love.

Bailey points out: Paul is not reinforcing patriarchy; he is subverting it with the cross.

Why This Passage is Disputed

• Complementarians read it as teaching a permanent hierarchy: wives submit, husbands lead.

• Egalitarians emphasize mutual submission, seeing no hierarchy in Christ.

The debate often misses the deeper point: this is not about power but about Christlike love and reverence in marriage.

The Principle That Remains

• Submission in the kingdom is never about control; it is about voluntary, Christ-shaped service.

• Husbands are called not to dominate, but to die for their wives in love.

• Wives are called not to be voiceless, but to live in mutual reverence with their husbands.

• Together, marriage becomes a living parable of the gospel.

Conclusion

Ephesians 5:22-24 is not about one gender towering over another. It is about two people, under Christ, learning to outdo one another in love and honor.

Paul was not building a chain of command but painting a picture of mutual submission under the Lordship of Christ. When husbands love like Christ and wives respond in reverence, marriage becomes a stage where the gospel is displayed for the world.

Husbands, the question is not ‘How do I make her submit?’ The question is ‘Am I loving her like Jesus loves the church?’ And wives, the call is not ‘How do I lose myself?’ but ‘How do we together reflect Christ in our union?’ In the end, it is not about who is in charge, but about who looks like Jesus.”